B-List Star Dies, Nation Mourns
Left: A recent [definitely post-plastic surgery] Anna
Right: The Anna most men are more familiar with, that is, from her Playboy days
Anna Nicole Smith passed away yesterday, isn't that sad? Not for those of us who believe in Karma, but apparently it's a big deal. The WaPo calls her "a postmodern pinup for the tabloid age," which while sounding nice to the ears makes zero sense. In what way is Anna Nicole Smith postmodern? Do I not understand the term correctly?*
*Check out wikipedia, turns out no one understands the word correctly, which is maybe why it gets overused and applied to things, like say Anna Nicole (RIP), that are decidedly not postmodern. And a google search turns up an even bigger cadre of all things postmodern. I will say this, being famous for being famous (which does make this the Tabloid Age, unfortunately) does not, in my humble reckoning, make one postmodern.**
** UPDATE: Walking to work this morning I thought about this some more. Being famous for being famous, actually is pretty goddam postmodern.
Its nuts to me how big of news this has become, every cable network was all over it all night last night, it's a front page story on many newspapers today, and is generally being made out to be a big deal. Why? This is what happens folks when you sell your soul for millions of dollars. This is why you shouldn't prey on bed-ridden billionaires, ladies. The Almighty doesn't like gold-diggin hos (neither does Kanye).
Could it have been TrimSpa? Her mum thinks drugs. The Domestique's official position is "Karma under the influence of drugs and weight loss supplements."
Rest In Peace, A.N.S.
5 comments:
Do you really think she "preyed" on the old billionaire? I don't think she was smart enough to come up with that kind of scheme. Honestly, I think she found someone who treated her better than any other guy ever had and she married him, maybe not out of love but out of longing to not be treated like crap? And she was probably on drugs the whole time too, so the sex was all fuzzy because she was drugged. Or something.
I actually think it takes incredible intelligence to do what she did. She saw a cultural demand for a Monroe-like pinup and she cultivated that personality to an amazing degree of success. Everything she did was to promote that image and make some change along the way. Just because she was a busty blonde with a ditzy voice, does not say anything about her intelligence, right Mindy? (Yes, I am trying to goad you and Steff into a fight) One could even argue that using her assets to the degree of fame and fortune that she did makes her something of a genius. Sure, she's no Proust scholar, but she wasn't dumb.
Did she prey on that old oil tycoon? Jesus, I dunno. It's called poetic license (or more accurately maybe, hyperbole). But she certainly was in it for the money, even if, as I believe the story goes, he really did love her.
I really don't buy that she was enamored with this old man because he was nice to her. I am positive about 1 million gusy tried the "nice guy" approach with her, if for nothing else than to get in her pants (at least during her Bunny days). But he was probably the first oil baron to be really nice to her (while trying to get in her pants), and the fact that he was in his 80s and near death probably didn't hurt either.
I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that Miss Nicole Smith was in fact dumb. I mean honestly.
Although she was clearly a golddigger, I still wouldn't say that she was preying on the old man. At least not any more than he was using his money to prey on a stupid slutty hot chick (at the time...later just stupid and slutty and drug-addled). They both knew what they were doing and were both OK with it.
I wouldn't say this makes her "smart" because if that is smart, there are a whole lot of geniuses hanging around outside NBA locker-rooms looking to get knocked up by any player they can.
I think this is merely an example of someone being very shortsighted and doing something very selfish and possibly ill advised, and having it mostly work out in the end anyhow (minus the drugs and death, i guess). This is basically how things like politics and the stock market work (again, minus the drugs and death. or at least the death).
... and at the last second, her gums decided to sprout teeth.
There's no way she was smart. Did you ever watch her reality show? Wowsa. NOT SMART.
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