Historical quote of the year

Maybe that Reagan guy wasn't as much of a dipshit as I thought...

"A moment I've been dreading. George brought his ne're-do-well son around this morning and asked me to find the kid a job. Not the political one who lives in Florida. The one who hangs around here all the time looking shiftless. This so-called kid is already almost 40 and has never had a real job. Maybe I' ll call Kinsley over at The New Republic and see if they'll hire him as a contributing editor or something. That looks like easy work."

-- Ronald Reagan in his recently published diaries, May 17, 1986.

Must read

Sorry to get all political and righteous on ya'll, but now that NYT has stopped their bullshit Times Select deal--which forced us to pay for their editorials and commentator's articles--you really must go read Bob Herbert's piece called the Ugly Side of the GOP. He talks about the racism implicit in the GOP party, from it's blocking the passage of DC voting rights to the top GOP candidates for president refusing a debate on minority issues. Go check it out, and fuck the GOP.

Sugar mommas

So here I am, at Holly's coffee shop, catching up on some articles from last Sunday's NYT. I was checking out the Sunday Styles section because there was this article I found interesting called "Putting Money on the Table." The premise of this article is that a lot of men in their 20s and 30s are uncomfortable dating a woman who makes substantially more money than they. My immediate response was, "Who are these fucking idiots?" Maybe I am in a minority here, but ladies who bring in the money are not intimidating, they are amazing! Look at my situation, Suga' takes care of her man! She hooks me up with health insurance, contributes to rent when she lives 3,000 miles away, tried convincing me to use the joint account to pay for my groceries (hence subsidizing half of my food, but I can't in good faith do this... more than once). I mean seriously, guys who get all upity about not living up to their father's generation's idea of providing for a family with a wife and kids at home are completely and totally fucking nuts. Maybe it's an ego thing, but it's still stupid. Fellas out there in NYC who have a problem with rich chics, I have some advice for you: get the fuck over it, times are changing, as long as you bring something to the table (e.g., you're nice or funny or good in bed or whatever), she probably won't mind providing for you and maybe paying more than her share for some things. (Lucky for me, I am nice.)

Interestingly, "the median income of women 21 to 30 in NYC and who are employed full time is 17% higher than that of comparable men." Way to go ladies! Now, a little advice for the chicas in that article who can't seem to hold down a man: if you make more money and you know it (I mean like a lot more money here), pay for shit. Part of the reason you can't find a guy who is willing to go to fancy restaurants with you isn't because he doesn't like fine dining, it's because homey is po'. So hook that shit up. I mean, if roles were reversed and he wanted to go out somewhere fancy and you were not making money, he'd treat. Even if you did make money he may try treating because that is part of the chauvinist mystique. And if you insist on going Dutch, which is totally respectable, then you have to agree to eat somewhere he is comfortable paying his own way. You can't have your cake and eat it too.

Yes, I agree, this post belongs on Mindy's blog.

Battle of the beers

I think I may have heard somewhere that can beer has less environmental impact than bottle beer (I am definitely Googling that when I get done posting this). I know for a fact it's cheaper. This truth and a half combined make it my new standard operating procedure. That is right, I am buying canned beer from here on out (at least until I get a job). I am also interested in buying local as much as possible, because on the one hand it lets me try new things, and on the other hand it takes less fuel to get it to the store shelves. (Did someone say hippie? Yeah, I think I heard it too. I think it was me, actually, shouting it at myself as I washed out a ziplock sandwich bag to reuse it for my PB&J yesterday. What in the hell happened to me? I didn't used to be like this...) So anyways, Kokanee beer is pretty darn good for cheap beer. It is a lot like Labatts Blue, another Canadian lager beer I am also fond of, but only a dollar or so cheaper. And it is a product of global warming, as far as I can tell, because you see it is a "glacier beer" as the water used for the beer comes from the ice melt of a glacier. See, you damn hippies, global warming ain't all bad after all.

Anyways, not 100% content with my Canuck glacier beer, I was in the store the other day looking for something even localer. (Not to mention, cheaper.) And what did I find? Olympia. Named, I presumed, in honor of the capital of this fine state. And only a little over $4 a six pack. Sold.
I get my sixer home, eager to enjoy a cold one while I watch some stupid tv show on my laptop, when I start to give the can a good once over. Union made, it says. Nice, I say to myself. It makes me feel good knowing that the makers of this fine beverage are making a decent wage and have a voice on the job. (Great, now he's a communist hippie.) Kokanee was also union made, but I expected nothing less coming from a beer made in the People's Republic of British Columbia. I turn the can over some more.

Pabst Brewing Company, Milwaukee, WI.

WHAT THE FUCK!!?!?!!?

Don't get me wrong, I love Wisconsin beer. I love Pabst Brewing Company and the hipster fav PBR. But where in sam hill do those fuckers get off calling it Olympia beer, selling it in Washington, and making it in Wisconsin? I felt cheated. I still feel cheated. In fact, I am drinking said impostor beer right now, but under severe protest. Like, if I get drunk and do something totally crazy, it'll definitely have to have an asterisked by it in the history books.

Needless to say, Kokanee in a Kan wins Round 1. Next up for Big Blue? I think I'll check out Rainier beer and see how it compares to the cool, crisp, taste of global warming. I'll be damned if this sommamabitch ain't local. AND it comes in Tall Boy cans. Fuckin' A.

UPDATE: Well fuck my ass, Rainier beer is also owned and brewed by Pabst in fucking Milwaukee. It's not fair to compare Kokanee to any of the fancy micro brews that are indeed local (and in expensive bottles), so my quest for a good cheap local beer continues. Godspeed, me...

UPDATE II: This guy seems to have done a best guess approximation of environmental impact of new aluminum vs. glass vs. recycled aluminum. Not surprisingly, recycled aluminum wins, hands down. Interestingly, he claims that to recycle glass takes just as much energy as creating new glass from the primary material used to make it, sand. Go figure. The answer then is to buy beer in recycled cans, if you are able to and give a shit about such things. Interesting little blog post he wrote too, I recommend checking it out. Further investigation seems to support that aluminum recycles better than plastic bottles too, so if you are some wussy tee-totaller who doesn't drink beer but does drink soda, drink your soda out of aluminum cans as opposed to plastic bottles (unless you are comparing 2 liter bottles to 12 oz cans, that fucks up the math).