DC Utd Match Report

VS.

Tuesday night's match: DC United 1; Chivas de Guadalajara 2
Aggregate: DC United 2; Chivas 3

Instead of trying to watch this game with a bunch of rowdy white people with varying levels of knowledge and interest in footy, my boy Max and I decided to check this out in a bit more hostile territory. We had this vision of being the only two gringos in a see of red and white striped jerseys at this neighborhood Salvadoran/Mexican restaurant just down the road from my place. Instead, we get there and find the place nearly empty and watching some random Mexican soap-opera comedy/drama thing (I am sure you have seen these before, wildly popular on Telemundo y Univision, big breasted beautiful women traipsing around with douchebag quality men.) When we asked if they were going to turn on the game, the bartender shrugged and said why not. So we bellied up to the bar and ordered some Tecate's while we waited for the game to start (which came in amazingly cold frosted glasses, nice touch).

The game was sloppy and unattractive for much of the time, with the occasional flashes of true quality that seem to allude both MLS and Mexican teams for any sustained length of time. These leagues play more physical football than beautiful football. And yes, Chivas displayed more flair and grace with the ball then DC, but not by much folks. The gap between these two leagues in terms of quality is minimal, at least as best as I can tell from the matches I have seen between the two leagues. Given the slow nature of the match, Max and I started downing the cold Tecate's rather quickly to compensate, and soon enough we'd have some company.

At some point pretty early in the first half still, three other blokes stumbled into the bar. Three loud drunk gay guys from Mexico City. So while Chivas wasn't their team, per se, they were definitely not cheering for DC. They were loud, did I mention that? And funny. And gregarious. And ... a little odd. I can't say I have ever come across three gay guys from Mexico City. At least we think they were gay. They were awful affectionate with one another. And yet, they looked like beer-swilling Redskins fans or something, to be honest. Beer bellies, unkempt, loud, drunks. Soon enough however, we were fast friends. They were eager to speak English (or flirt, hard to tell, there was a language barrier) so they were chattin' us up a bit, calling us gringos, saying random things to each other in Spanish and laughing a lot. At first this was a bit awkward. Then after a while, the effect of the beers started to kick in and I got more into the footy match and they were yelling and screaming at the TV too, and the awkwardness was erased by drunkenness and a good time was had by all. We had a bit of a rivalry going in the bar, which amused the Salvadoran staff to no end (they were cheering for Utd, too... cuz F those dudes from Guadalajara, right?).

For a real match report, check this out. All I will say is this, the DC keeper, Troy Perkins, played an amazing game, and had he not let the game winning shot go right through his hands, that game probably would have gone to overtime, or United might have even stolen a winner. They had the momentum, and then Perkins just shat his shorts and the team pretty much folded. Shame too, he was probably their best player and kept them in the game throughout. Being a goalie is hard for that exact reason: one slip up could cost you the game. In this case it did. Jaime Moreno, who I generally dislike and wish would retire already, had an amazing goal. So amazing, i need to post it here on my site (thanks YouTube). Sorry it's so choppy, but wait the replay around the 45 second mark, you'll see what a magnificent goal it was.

The real shame is that no MLS has EVER won in Mexico before. I imagine it is hard to adjust. Instead of maybe 20,000 moderately enthusiastic fans, you are playing in stadiums meant to handle 100-200,000 riotous lunatics. On top of that, most of these games are played at some serious altitude. And some seriously polluted altitude at that. But hey, I don't want to make excuses, fact is MLS teams just aren't any better than Mexican teams. They are not any worse, as evidenced by the good results on home turf, but they not any better. If they were, they wouldn't be a collective 0-10 in games played South of the border (i think that is right, someone can double-check that stat if they are so inclined, the goose-egg is definitely right, just not positive on the number of losses).

Anyways, check out this goal, it was sweet...