Holy crap!

Dear Loyal Reader,

I apologize for my inability to post regularly. I have been pretty busy at work these days (bastards) which really cuts into my cyber-bullshitting time. Alas, I am stealing away for the next 30 mins to update you on something wonderful and important and profound, profoundly wonderfully important, even.

Tubby Smith is going to be the new men's hoops coach for the Gophers. This is huge. Sure, some out there were really pulling for Flip Saunders' return to Minnesota. But ya know what, I'm not convinced Flip will get fired (have you seen the East? I'll be shocked if Pistons don't reach the finals)... so you can't pass up a great coach with a proven record like Tubby's in the hopes that you MAY land a former Gopher stud who already has a high-paying, high profile gig. That's not to say Flip wasn't enticed by the offer. Think about it: WAAAAaaaaay less pressure in college hoops, especially when you are coming in on the coattails of Don "The Disaster" Monson, and nearly as good of pay (Smith's contract reported $1.8 million per year). Not to mention, your players might actually listen to you!! But seriously, recruiting for next year has already come and gone, and we really can't waste any time getting a head start on the 08-09 season. Go Tubby. I can't wait until they rename some dive bar in Dinkytown "Tubby's."

Since we're on the topic of Gophers, let me give you the quick update. This past weekend I was in Minny to check out the school and party down with the fam for my nephew's first b-day party. Good times had by all. I also should give a shoutout (in no particular order) to everyone who took time out of their busy lives to see little ole me: brian, ryan, chris, tom, mike g (that's international dj mike G to you ravers out there), erik, bob, wyn, dan, dan, jill, sam, and last, but certainly not least (most even?) james. James, you get the bottom of the order for two reasons: perpetually snarky comments on my blog, and screening my calls on saturday (Kidding about the saturday thing).

News and insights from the weekend:

• My buddy Brian is going to be a world-renowned brew master in 10 years time, you just watch. He'll go to Germany with nothing but the shirt on his back and a taste for good beer (not to mention the desire to drink lots of it) and come back with some amazing secret recipe and in no time at all will take over the market for domestic brew.
• I have all these friends becoming homeowners, and while I feign happiness for them, I am actually overwrought with jealousy. I [figuratively, of course] piss away $750 per month to my mediocre landlords for my nice, but certainly not owned, apartment... all the while my new homeowner friends are building equity and generally doing very good adult-like things. Big Sigh.
  
• I fugging HATE people who recline their seatbacks on flights of 4 hours or less. Why? Because I am 6'2" (read: leggy) and its already close-quarters as it is. The last thing I want is some 65 year old business exec who is pissed he didnt get on first class standbye putting his weird jerry curled hairdo in my lap while he tries to nap and I try to read. To make matters worse, he looked like he got dressed in the dark: cheap black suit with CHEESY tie and a pair of FUGLY brown wingtips (hat-tip to my boy max for the use of the word "fugly"). Not that I am against cheap or people who wear cheap cloths, I am just against this certain ass fuck in seat 18c.
  
• I am sick and tired of shitting the bed every singly March in my brackets. Big sigh, again.
  
• Speaking of NCAA, hard to fathom how the officiating could be worse than anyone in the NBA, but it honest to goodness is. By a factor of about a billion.
  
• In other sports news, Cris Ronaldo is a P-I-M-P and is going to carry United to their second treble. Awesome. Seriously, not only best footballer in the world, he is also laying more pipe [I reckon] than Wilt or Magic in their primes. Seriously. The guy is a pimp.
  
• Ever notice just how many blonde people live in Minnesota? Probably not if you are from there, but shit, leave, come back, and its the first thing you notice. Blondes everywhere. Well, blondes and fat people. But fat people are everywhere.
  
• Sometimes blogging is really hard work. Hence, sometimes you get posts that are about 99.99% bullshit, but you gotta keep the readers happy, gotta give 'em what they want. And that, my friends, is exactly the same thing I want: an avenue for procrastination.