Battle of the beers

I think I may have heard somewhere that can beer has less environmental impact than bottle beer (I am definitely Googling that when I get done posting this). I know for a fact it's cheaper. This truth and a half combined make it my new standard operating procedure. That is right, I am buying canned beer from here on out (at least until I get a job). I am also interested in buying local as much as possible, because on the one hand it lets me try new things, and on the other hand it takes less fuel to get it to the store shelves. (Did someone say hippie? Yeah, I think I heard it too. I think it was me, actually, shouting it at myself as I washed out a ziplock sandwich bag to reuse it for my PB&J yesterday. What in the hell happened to me? I didn't used to be like this...) So anyways, Kokanee beer is pretty darn good for cheap beer. It is a lot like Labatts Blue, another Canadian lager beer I am also fond of, but only a dollar or so cheaper. And it is a product of global warming, as far as I can tell, because you see it is a "glacier beer" as the water used for the beer comes from the ice melt of a glacier. See, you damn hippies, global warming ain't all bad after all.

Anyways, not 100% content with my Canuck glacier beer, I was in the store the other day looking for something even localer. (Not to mention, cheaper.) And what did I find? Olympia. Named, I presumed, in honor of the capital of this fine state. And only a little over $4 a six pack. Sold.
I get my sixer home, eager to enjoy a cold one while I watch some stupid tv show on my laptop, when I start to give the can a good once over. Union made, it says. Nice, I say to myself. It makes me feel good knowing that the makers of this fine beverage are making a decent wage and have a voice on the job. (Great, now he's a communist hippie.) Kokanee was also union made, but I expected nothing less coming from a beer made in the People's Republic of British Columbia. I turn the can over some more.

Pabst Brewing Company, Milwaukee, WI.

WHAT THE FUCK!!?!?!!?

Don't get me wrong, I love Wisconsin beer. I love Pabst Brewing Company and the hipster fav PBR. But where in sam hill do those fuckers get off calling it Olympia beer, selling it in Washington, and making it in Wisconsin? I felt cheated. I still feel cheated. In fact, I am drinking said impostor beer right now, but under severe protest. Like, if I get drunk and do something totally crazy, it'll definitely have to have an asterisked by it in the history books.

Needless to say, Kokanee in a Kan wins Round 1. Next up for Big Blue? I think I'll check out Rainier beer and see how it compares to the cool, crisp, taste of global warming. I'll be damned if this sommamabitch ain't local. AND it comes in Tall Boy cans. Fuckin' A.

UPDATE: Well fuck my ass, Rainier beer is also owned and brewed by Pabst in fucking Milwaukee. It's not fair to compare Kokanee to any of the fancy micro brews that are indeed local (and in expensive bottles), so my quest for a good cheap local beer continues. Godspeed, me...

UPDATE II: This guy seems to have done a best guess approximation of environmental impact of new aluminum vs. glass vs. recycled aluminum. Not surprisingly, recycled aluminum wins, hands down. Interestingly, he claims that to recycle glass takes just as much energy as creating new glass from the primary material used to make it, sand. Go figure. The answer then is to buy beer in recycled cans, if you are able to and give a shit about such things. Interesting little blog post he wrote too, I recommend checking it out. Further investigation seems to support that aluminum recycles better than plastic bottles too, so if you are some wussy tee-totaller who doesn't drink beer but does drink soda, drink your soda out of aluminum cans as opposed to plastic bottles (unless you are comparing 2 liter bottles to 12 oz cans, that fucks up the math).